Sometimes life doesn't go as you plan. Actually, it almost Never goes as you plan!
If you are in adult relationships that are not working out, and you have children... then you need to step back and ask yourself ... What the heck are you doing to your kids, while you are being self absorbed.
Are you denying your child(ren) love and contact of both parents?
Are you putting restrictions on someone; restrictions that are not honestly needed? Are you doing this out of fear, or spite?
Are you attempting to control situations that you do not need to control, out of baseless fear?
If you are in a point in your life that is complex, confusing, and hurting your inner being...
Ask yourself if your actions are helping, or hurting your child(ren).
You may talk a good game of "communication", but if you are not listening to the needs of others, then you are not a good communicator.
If you are too focused on yourself, and how You feel a situation should be played out, then you might well be not doing what is honestly best for your loved ones.
Are you being truthful about wanting what is best for those you love, or ... are you attempting to control situations that are not your concern?
Are you so fearful of being hurt, that you are demanding, controlling, and not doing what is best for all concerned?
Are you able to believe in yourself enough to let go, and do what is best for everyone, especially the children?
Do you realize that ... the more you attempt to control every situation, the more difficult life gets for you?
Do you talk a good game of "trust"... but in reality, you don't trust yourself enough to trust others?
Just some things to think about...
Who are you, on the inside? Not the person you show everyone.. but the person Inside?
Are you hurting your child(ren) by not believing in yourself?
Are you so unsure of yourself that you must attempt to be in control of every situation, whether or not it is your job to do so?
Isn't it time to let go enough, ... so that in the long run, you will find peace and happiness ... on the inside? Until that happens for you, it cannot happen for the ones you love...
Think about it...
Really ... Think...
As the Gibran poems says...
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Being a Parent...
Parenting is most important, and most difficult, under the best of circumstances.
Parenting is waking up each morning and knowing that by the evening, you will have smiled, laughed, and cried, at least once each, and probably many more times each!
Parenting ... is being a mom, a dad, forever, no matter the distance, or the time.
Parenting is doing the best possible, for your child, the best you know, at the time.
Parenting is allowing both parents to parent, without fear, or jealousy.
Parenting is believing in your child, when your child is an adult.
Parenting is being a soft place to land, but not a controlling, or demanding place to land.
Parenting is not knowing what is best in any given situation, but moving toward what is believed to be the best.
Parenting is the most rewarding job there is in the world!
Parenting is waking up each morning and knowing that by the evening, you will have smiled, laughed, and cried, at least once each, and probably many more times each!
Parenting ... is being a mom, a dad, forever, no matter the distance, or the time.
Parenting is doing the best possible, for your child, the best you know, at the time.
Parenting is allowing both parents to parent, without fear, or jealousy.
Parenting is believing in your child, when your child is an adult.
Parenting is being a soft place to land, but not a controlling, or demanding place to land.
Parenting is not knowing what is best in any given situation, but moving toward what is believed to be the best.
Parenting is the most rewarding job there is in the world!
Common Grounds...
There are situations in life that happen to people, where there are so many differing opinions, it is difficult to find common grounds.
When it comes to the lives of others, I believe it is best to step back, and look to see what your actions are doing to others you love. All concerned, need to be considered. Most of all, the children.
Today's society has many children who are in divided situations. But I believe there are always common grounds to find. It is in the finding, that the children will not only survive, but thrive.
As parents, ask yourself what You can do to move forward to allow the child(ren) to have the best lives possible. Is there anything You can change to be closer to your child(ren)s happiness?
Are you making decisions that are determined by your personal emotional baggage, or are you open to the realization that lives change, relationships change, and no matter what is happening in each parent's life relationships, the child(ren) need to see both parents freely. The very best situation for a child, is to know that both parents are able to "let go", and allow the child to grow with loving experiences from both parents, and learn that both parents are able to love him/her, even with expanding family situations. It is most important for the child(ren) to see both parent's homes, and have the freedom to visit both parents homes. This way, he/she knows that his/her parents are continuing life in the best possible way. He/she can see that both parents are happy, in their daily life. This will be a positive influence on his/her future!
If you, as parents, are not able to trust one another yet, it is very important to have mediation, and parent plan in writing, that is established with a third party present. This way, your emotional baggage will be kept out of the way of the best plan for the child(ren). Having positive communication with a third party will be the balancing factor, when emotions want to take over.
Scheduling visits, and trips can be difficult, but a calendar plan is very do-able. With forethought and flexible planning, a more peaceful life journey can be taken.
If you can wake up each morning and decide that today is going to be a good day, and that you are going to follow the best path, then you will be successful in creating a positive life for those around you.
I realize all this sounds logical and easy. It is the most difficult thing in the world to know that you are doing what is best. But it is most important to be able to look in the mirror each day, and say, "Yes, I am trying to be the best me possible, for not only my life, but the lives I am going to affect. I am putting my anger and fear aside, and following a path that I believe, will lead to a best future for my child(ren).
It is all anyone can ask.
When it comes to the lives of others, I believe it is best to step back, and look to see what your actions are doing to others you love. All concerned, need to be considered. Most of all, the children.
Today's society has many children who are in divided situations. But I believe there are always common grounds to find. It is in the finding, that the children will not only survive, but thrive.
As parents, ask yourself what You can do to move forward to allow the child(ren) to have the best lives possible. Is there anything You can change to be closer to your child(ren)s happiness?
Are you making decisions that are determined by your personal emotional baggage, or are you open to the realization that lives change, relationships change, and no matter what is happening in each parent's life relationships, the child(ren) need to see both parents freely. The very best situation for a child, is to know that both parents are able to "let go", and allow the child to grow with loving experiences from both parents, and learn that both parents are able to love him/her, even with expanding family situations. It is most important for the child(ren) to see both parent's homes, and have the freedom to visit both parents homes. This way, he/she knows that his/her parents are continuing life in the best possible way. He/she can see that both parents are happy, in their daily life. This will be a positive influence on his/her future!
If you, as parents, are not able to trust one another yet, it is very important to have mediation, and parent plan in writing, that is established with a third party present. This way, your emotional baggage will be kept out of the way of the best plan for the child(ren). Having positive communication with a third party will be the balancing factor, when emotions want to take over.
Scheduling visits, and trips can be difficult, but a calendar plan is very do-able. With forethought and flexible planning, a more peaceful life journey can be taken.
If you can wake up each morning and decide that today is going to be a good day, and that you are going to follow the best path, then you will be successful in creating a positive life for those around you.
I realize all this sounds logical and easy. It is the most difficult thing in the world to know that you are doing what is best. But it is most important to be able to look in the mirror each day, and say, "Yes, I am trying to be the best me possible, for not only my life, but the lives I am going to affect. I am putting my anger and fear aside, and following a path that I believe, will lead to a best future for my child(ren).
It is all anyone can ask.
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